Where does the time go?

My last  post was February 4, and now here it is May 8 - Mother's day weekend.  When I wrote last time #1 son had moved out to try it on his own.  Well he tried it, I think he had some fun and possibly learned a few of the harder life lessons.  He is back home, getting ready to start his summer job on Monday in preparation for Paramedic training in September.  I am really happy he is home and I think things between us are much better for it.  I know I nag way too much, something I need to work on daily.

I wish that I could report weight loss and healthy eating successes but I can't.  I have really been struggling with accountability.  I am way too easy on myself.  I don't feeling like working out - OK
I don't want vegetables, I want chips - OK....I haven't been very successful at finding that "weight loss buddy" either.  I really need someone who will not let me off the hook and who is willing to let me be just as tough.  I'm not sure where you would find that kind of relationship or if it is even possible.

Yesterday I was tempted to charge $100 to my credit card to join weight watchers on line - but realized I really didn't need to do that, I already have the tools that I need, SparkPeople.com has all of the tools and it is free and I have purchased the WW material at least 3 times and I have a great application on my iPod touch.  If only I would use them.  Some time ago I decided not to every let someone else think I was weak but it seems I am perfectly fine convincing myself that I am just that - weak.  That is the excuse that I let myself use whenever it gets too hard to plan meals, or pack my lunch or get to my workout.

My weight is up 4 lbs from where I was just before Christmas, I am training fairly consistently (in kickboxing anyway).  I feel strong physically but I really cannot figure out the mental side of loosing weight.

It is all about choices.....

Week 3 & 4

So this is what it looks like when your child moves out.  My son(19) decided to move out and try it on his own January 23.  Yes, I know I only have him for awhile and my job is to get him ready to go it alone....I just wasn't prepared for the sadness that I feel.

This event succeeded in sending me and my fitness/eating routine into a tailspin.  No, that's not right, I LET it turn into an EXCUSE to eat whatever I felt like and skip as many works outs as I DARNED WELL PLEASED.....

As I was typing this I remembered something that we used to say at weekly Tops (Take off Pounds Sensibly) meetings I am putting this here as a reminder to myself  of the promises that I made.  I am going to get  more fit, and I am going to loose this weight.  I have got to recognize my excuses for what they are "EXCUSES"  Too Tired, Hormones, Stress at work, Stress at home.......

TOPS Pledge

I am an intelligent person.

I will control my emotions and

not let my emotions control me.

Every time I am tempted to use food

to satisfy my frustrated desires,

build up my injured ego

or dull my senses, I will remember.

Even though I overeat in private

my excess poundage is there

for all the world to see.
 I will take off pounds sensibly.a
I

ISo I used February 1 as my do over day.

To end things on a positive not I want to say how great I felt last night when I did the math and figured out that I ran 45 laps around the Dojo.  WOW... no wonder my legs didn't want to work this morning....

Week 2

"What I know for sure"(to quote a well known TV personality) - I am an emotional eater!!!  I was doing fairly well at the beginning of the week, but I was thrown for a loop late in the week and have been eating out of control ever since.
Since this is the place to celebrate my successes and not dwell on the well - non successes I really don't want to say failures I'll just say that I thank God I have a new day tomorrow.

I am very thankful for the ladies who keep me going to kickboxing - even on days when I don't "have to" .
Their encouragement and enthusiasm is contagious, and it helped on those days when I just didn't have any of my own.

I am also very thankful for my small group, special friends who will lift me up when I feel pretty low.

So my goals for this week, back to the basics.  Pack my lunch, keep my food journal, schedule in my exercise and devotion time.

I will focus on those things for tomorrow.

Baby steps this week.

I can do this - it just might take awhile.

The Before Picture

This is going to be my "before" picture.  Not very flattering but well "it is what it is".  I have toyed with the idea of blogging for over a year now and never could figure out what I wanted to get out of it.  Then on December 28 I started the non-New Year's resolution with a post on my old blog, which I have abandoned (sorry followers) it really didn't have any substance or direction.

That post was supposed to be the starting point for really getting a grip, stop making excuses and really lose this weight for good. Well that was the end of that idea until a couple of days ago when my Sensei suggested that it might be good for me to blog my progress as a tool for helping reach my goals.  He is going to link it to the Dojo page, well that will keep me honest anyway.

So here I am.  Goal number 1 - Set some goals.

I posted one small goal on Facebook this week and that is that I want to complete 3 kickboxing classes and 2 Karate classes every week.  I have been consistently getting to 2 kickboxing class and 2 Karate classes and my weight stays the same.  I know that I am getting stronger, and more fit but the weight is really the part that gets me down.

I have lost 16 lbs since March of 2006 and I have 35 lbs to lose.

Success this week - I made it to all of the classes I was a bit sore but it feels good!
Struggling with the diet as usual, I have not recorded in my food journal since before Christmas.

Now this week - the diet - I will commit to journalling my eating at least 5 days this week.  I follow the Weight Watchers points program and track the points on my iPod.

I struggle with eating right.  I said to someone trying to quit smoking that I had to stop thinking about what I was giving up and concentrate on what I was gaining before I was finally able to stop smoking, that was 14 years ago.  Now to stop feeling left out/deprived if I can't have the "treats" with everyone else and remember what I am gaining....